Before you say "Thvameva"!

We were having a very normal discussion at work today. It was about the system of marriage. A friend and I were having this discussion about the whole arranged marriage funda. I was telling her that I did take a big risk but it has been okay. There were discussions around how parents have a "responsibility checklist" and tick of items and classically say in tamil "En kadamai over". The checklist is mainly a society driven list which puts marriage as the be all and end all of a girl's life. Well, if you ask me her life begins there. It is just not enough if you invite 1000 people to the wedding and have one big party. The girl has to be happy and content with her life after the party. If there is a loveless marriage I have often heard parents saying: "Oru kuzhandai porantha ellam seriya poiydum" Errrr... Shouldn't a child be a product of love? Having a child will just commit you the marriage even further. One should be in a relationship because he/she "wants" to not they "have" to.
My opinion:
One has to be ready for the marriage. Mentally prepared to raise a a child. I agree that there is no relationship without compromise be it between friends/parents-children/husband-wife. There is nothing wrong in a girl deciding whom/when she has to get married. This should not be misconstrued as a disrespect towards her parents. I know I wouldn't have said all this 3 years ago, but then I have become a shade wiser :) It is good that my parents packaged me out of the door before I started thinking this way! :)) I think parents should stop making decisions for their children after a point in time as well. Let us face it, the world was a much different place to live in 20years ago. The protective nature does seem to go over-board sometime and they tend to interfere. We as children do have the onus to refuse the advice without hurting their feelings. Be polite yet firm!
According to me marriage is just a legal agreement. I don't think I would behave any different if my husband and I were living together instead of being married. And "NO" having a kid is just not a solution. I cant help but to concur with Monica from FRIENDS about marriage: "there is no such a thing as a soul mate. Marriage is a relationship that we have to work very hard at"
I guess I would always be working hard always to sustain an amicable relationship. This is true even among friends.

There is nothing blasphemous or hideous in expressing one's thoughts however unconventional it maybe. Such an expression doesn't definitely deserve a confession in a place of worship! It needs a pat on the back of the person who dares to think differently!